how to kill crows 1

How to Kill Crows 09/13/10

"There in one particular crow or actually raven that you want to be aware of. It will appear on a rare occasion when you are weary and may be experiencing some sort of depression or the beginnings of a psychotic break"


Killing Crows

Crows are a pretty pesky bird. They have long been the nuisance of the farmer and other country dwelling folks but they do appear in cities. There are many types of crows called by other names like rooks, magpies, jackdaws, jays and ravens. They also pop up in mythology every now and then. Crows and especially ravens are usually associated with death. In old stories they frequently appear before or after death or trying to lead the hero astray and to die. Mostly they are depicted as evil but sometimes are shown as an ally to the hero or some sort of advice giver. The mythology around crows has a lot to do with their intelligence and eating habits. Crows are highly intelligent and are considered one of the smartest species of birds, often learning from their mistakes and improving their hunting habits. They tend to feed on the freshly dead carcasses of other animals and humans. Crows will circle the dead and then swoop down to feed. Crows also present a health hazard and tend to destroy crops so I will tell you how to kill these birds but at your own risk. Who knows, they may posses the powers they hold in the myths and may come back for revenge.

One common method of killing crows and just about any other bird is with Alka-Seltzer. You watch them and figure out where they feed and hangout the most then stick the tablets there and let them eat. This fills them with air that they have now way of releasingand will cause to die. Some say they explode but I have not seen this for myself. People also say that uncooked rice works in a similiar way but I have not tried that method yet.

Another common way to kill crows is simply shoot them. If you were smart you would have though of this yourself and not needed to read this but we appreciate your support even if you are an idiot. Just about any gun will do; BB gun, pellet gun, paintball gun, rifle, shotgun, you get the point. Go out where they hangout or get an electrical crow call to lure them in and then just pick them off one by one. It really is simple. You may want to check your local laws on this though. I don’t want you to get arrested then go and sue me. I’m pretty sure its legal everywhere if they are presenting some sort of health hazard. So if you get caught then just claim that and no blaming me.

There in one particular crow or actually raven that you want to be aware of. It will appear on a rare occasion when you are weary and may be experiencing some sort of depression or the beginnings of a psychotic break. It will know how you feel and may possibly torment you and hurry along your descent into madness. It will only speak one word but you will be driven to ask it questions even though you know it cannot answer. You will ponder whether this particular raven is sent by angels or perhaps a messenger of the devil. If you see this raven ignore the rapping, do not let it in. Pretend you can’t hear its one word and never respond. He will drive you mad. Also do not kill him. The┬árepercussions may be more than you can bare.

Quoth the Raven, ‘Nevermore’.


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One Responses to this article

 
PeeNess June 20, 2011 Reply

That crow will be nevermore, motherf**kers.

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