How to Kill Alligators

Killing Alligators

Under no circumstances do I recommend killing an alligator unless you know what you are doing. They can be vicious and usually don’t attack humans unless provoked, hungry or protecting their young like most predatory animals. Alligators can be found in the southeast United states and along the Yangtze River in China. The Chinese alligators or extremely endangered which means they can’t be killed. The American alligators are numerous and live among human inhabitation. Most states have strict laws against killing gators without a license or without cause. You should check your state laws before killing an alligator. However, there are times when you may be threatened by one and need to take action. These things can kill you so don’t be stupid and go in guns a blazing without knowing what to do. You’ll probably do that anyway. Just read the damn article first so you don’t get eaten, which I really wouldn’t mind but I don’t want to be sued or something.

One method to kill an alligator is to shoot it. You need to shoot to kill otherwise you’ll just have a pissed off gator coming after you. The only place to shoot to kill is the brain which is very small and underneath a very thick skull. The brain on a gator is in the back of the skull between the eyes and ears. You will need a powerful gun to accomplish this, some say smaller ones will work but I don’t recommend them. A .22, 12 gauge shotgun or an AK47 with a C drum will do the trick or anything along those lines. Again, make sure you kill it otherwise it’ll just want revenge.

If it is a smaller gator, a sharp blade will kill it. Or just a strong blow to the head. If you are going to kill a smaller alligator make sure it is not in the vicinity of its mother otherwise you’ll have trouble. Just chop its head off with a machete and you’ll be fine. Again, I can’t stress this enough for you morons, don’t just go around killing gators for the hell of it. If you get caught, you’ll be in trouble and I don’t want you blaming me for it. I’m not going down with you.

For alligator hunting there are a few other methods to kill them. One is with harpoons. This one is simple, shoot the gator with the harpoon to snag it then either shoot it or chop its head off. Snatch hooks or snares work for this as well. A popular way to kill an alligator is with a bangstick. These are for use underwater and they basically discharge a cartridge upon contact. You need to be careful with these so you don’t go shooting yourself or someone else and I wouldn’t put it past you.

Some people like to wrestle gators. These people are stupid. I mean really stupid. You should never ‘wrastle’ a gator unless you know what you are doing but even then you are still an idiot.