How to Kill Cockroaches

Killing Cockroaches

Cockroaches are filthy, dirty, ugly little creatures. Cockroaches are what most people fear when they think of bugs. Killing cockroaches can be simple or very hard, depending on the type or your proximity to the damn dirty roach. The best and in my opinion the most effective way to kill a cockroach that is in close range is with a shoe. You see a roach, you step on it and grind it into the ground to make sure that you got it. Some people, myself included, don’t like to use the shoe they are wearing. It is gross. I recommend using a shoe that belongs to a sibling, roommate or someone you tend not to like or an old shoe that is no longer useful in the department of wearing on your feet. Whatever is handy. You take that shoe and smack the roach until it dies a quick death. I tend to keep my “bug shoe” on the porch to have it near me just in case one of these creepy crawlers comes by.

However, there are what people may call more “professional” ways of handling your cockroach problem. There are the methods that they sell in the store such as the infamous Roach Motels and RAID, these hardly ever prove to be effective. They will claim to kill these germ covered bugs but they are a waste of money for the most part. Try at your own risk, don’t say I didn’t warn you. There are also more effective store methods such as the chemical Boric Acid. It is in powder form. You can put this powder near wholes and cracks in walls and floors which is where the filthy cockroaches come in at. This is a white powder and not to be mistaken for certain drugs that can go up your nose. This is a dangerous insecticide and if you truly are stupid enough to ingest or inhale in a large quantity I would suggest seeking medical attention. Actually no, I take that back, if your are that big of an idiot you deserve whatever happens to you. What this does to those lovely little creatures is it basically decomposes its shell and makes it die of dehydration. Some people like to mix this with flour or sugar and water. It makes a sticky paste for the roach to get stuck in. Another good method is using IGRs (Insect Growth Regulators). This in combination with insecticides or the Boric Acid with help keep the roach population down since it prevents young cockroaches from reproducing, think of it as birth control or castrating the horny little roaches.

If you are completely fed up with the roaches and want to have a little fun with them, well that depends on how your mind works, there is another method you can try. You go roach hunting. There are only two tools you need which can be found in any household, a lighter and hairspray. You find a roach, take the hairspray, spray it, light the lighter and you have a roach torch. The little son of a bitch will be nice and toasty for you. I will not take responsibility if you are stupid enough to burn your dwelling down. However, if you are beyond frustrated and are considering going nuclear on their asses, don’t. You and everyone you know will die but they will be alive and kicking. They are resilient little bastards. When all else fails and depending on the size of your roach problem you can always call an exterminator but beware some of them are even creepier than the cockroaches.